a blithering giggly blob of bubbly libido

"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Friday night martini post: 

Tonight is all about Krista, and let's just leave it at that.

I mentioned this morning that I have always felt a bond with Krista, right from the start. I meant it.

I remember, years ago, that there was a point very early in my relationship with Josie where we had a terrible fight. I mean, just awful. We were very closing to breaking up, and I was determined to move away to California and work in a shoe factory. What held me back? One major thing was the thought of never seeing Krista again. The thought of not being a part of her life, of not being there to support her, to help parent her, filled me with such sadness that I just could not endure.

And here we are, four decades later, and I can truly say I made the right choice all those years ago, and have been there, a great big old honking part of her life. Her father. What an honor and pleasure it's been. I've seen her grow older, graduate high school, get her MBA, have a child, and still be that sweet inquisitive child I loved from the day I met her.

So tonight, I raise a chocolate cherry martini and toast to my 40 year old daughter, who at heart is probably an older soul than I am. Here's to your 40s, dear girl. I love you to the moon and back.

Postscript now that the weekend is almost complete:

Friday was a lovely night, with all the family there to celebrate Krista's milestone. Perhaps unconsciously, Josie selected the location of our wedding reception for the party. It used to be a wedding venue, but now half of it is a pot facility and the other half is a restaurant. The food was good.

Ashes was there, the first time we have seen each other in person since we started the reconciliation process. It went went fine. I was a bit nervous, I am sure she was, too, but the conversation was free and easy. Light and unencumbered by two years of silence. Probably as it should be. She had texted me earlier that she was a bit nervous to see my parents and Corb's mom, but that went fine. Dad had just returned from a casino where he won $2,000 on an eighty cent bet, and he handed her a hundred dollar bill and asked her to promise to be there for Christmas this year. It was sweet.

Corb's mom was nice, as well. The last time Ashes saw her was at the wake for Josie's father and she deliberately snubbed Ashes, causing her (from what I learned later) to burst into tears and say "my grandfather died, too." I hadn't mentioned that to Diana because I didn't want her to feel bad, but I felt she needed to know, now. Glad I did. She turned on the charm and it seemed to go well.

It was a late night. After the party, a group of us went to Josie's house to play games. Josie thumbed through a scrapbook my mom had given Krista and called up old memories. She saw photos of Prince. She asked if we could get married again. I laughed and said no.

Last night Corb and I went to see his old work friends from APT, for their annual skanky swap. We had great conversations and talked about our hope for the end of a certain someone. Corb's friend Taylor is a passionate advocate for a better world. 

LJ's husband Bob retired last year. He seems bored but also recovering from a foot injury that resulted in AFib. I told him my news, He said to make sure you keep busy. I very much plan to.

On that note, ten weeks to go. I still cannot say anything until mid-February. It seems silly not to tell people. I plan to take advantage of the PTO days I will have accrued before April and plan to take the week of Presidents day off so we can go to Vermont. I guess that means I really have nine weeks to go. 

Today, Corb is super achy and hasn't felt well in three days. We are hoping it is not kidney stones. We will take it easy until we have to go out to be with his...gulp...family. Greg's birthday. Corb didn't want either Scott or Greg at his birthday. 

Another busy week has passed. I feel like I am in a slow/fast world right now. I want the next few weeks to speed up, but I don't want the world to speed up too quickly. I want to take it easier and really enjoy this wonderful place I am in.