a blithering giggly blob of bubbly libido

"Who'll walk me down to church when I'm sixty years of age
When the ragged dog they gave me has been ten years in the grave..."

Elton John

You know, I just read through those lyrics, and I have heard that song all my life, and just realized...what the heck? Bernie and Elton are making sixty sound so fucking unappealing! Like, you've got one foot in the grave, and all you can do is go to church on Sunday, but only if somewhere is there to walk you, with your rickety, enfeebled body, and all you've got to show for living is a crappy dog that died ten years ago?

No thank you.

At least, I certainly don't feel that way. I haven't been to church in over the decade, at least, and if I did, I certainly wouldn't need anyone to walk me there. And as for dog, yes, Kyra has been gone for a few years, but she certainly wasn't ragged, and meanwhile, Ping is still going strong. 

My birthday was lovely. It started out kind of ragged, because I had to go to the dentist, as my wisdom teeth are pressing up against my other teeth and causing a "deep fissure," which has resulted in a bit of a stinktooth the past few days in the back. Which...gross...and so I went to the dentist to see help. 

The dental assistant was built like a stern German fraulein, who refused to smile or really say much of anything, but just barked out one or two word responses and kept piling up medical equipment near me. She looked at my stinktooth quick and said, "Is Cumberland of Providence better for emergency surgery?"

Gulp. "Will I...need...emergency surgery?" I asked, timidly. 

"That's for the dentist to say," she replied.

But then, the dentist came in, and she was wonderful and sweet and nice and gave me the number for a surgeon to arrange at my leisure and some special mouthwash to take care of my stinktooth, and said the gums around the area looked fine, it was just something in the fissure, and it should clear up in a few days. (Which it has)

So, after that, everything was just sunshine and buttercups, and the afternoon was really relaxing, and that night, Corb surprised me with a birthday party at my favorite restaurant, Gigi's, and my lovely friend Gigi even arranged for me to have my favorite dessert, an affogato, which was absolutely delicious and made properly. 

I really wasn't expecting it. Despite the fact that Josie kept spilling the beans in text messages, but then quickly would come up for excuses why she said what she said, I perhaps deliberately tried to be oblivious and simply thought Corb and I were going out to dinner alone. So much so that I went to dinner wearing my glasses, skipping my vanity step of putting in contacts. 

So imagine my surprise when I entered into the room and there was my entire family and so many old friends, there to celebrate my birthday. 

It was so nice, and exactly what I wanted. For my 50th, Corb had really gone all out, with a Great Gatsby theme and a drag queen performing. I didn't want that this time around. What he did instead was perfect--not too small, but not so big. 

You know, when I look back on my life, I would say that, despite many setbacks, as we all have, I've had a fairly successful and productive one. Yes, I didn't become that top selling best-selling author I assumed was my birthright, nor the next Tennessee Williams, but that's really not a fair assessment of success. 

What I have done is ended up as a successful public relations executive in the financial services industry with over three decades in the field, who is married to a super creative lighting restoration specialist who I travel the world and the country with. I was able to navigate through a divorce--and discovering who I am as a person--and still managed to keep my modern family intact, without burning any bridges (for the most part). I have three children who have all gone on to pursue master's degrees and seem (for the most part) fairly content. 

I've also had two books published, directed dozens of plays, and been the major director with one group for the past twenty years. I've won many awards for my efforts, and I am now helping other people see their artistic dreams come through. 

In love, I have had three people that I have deeply loved through the years and have somehow managed to keep all three in my life all these years. And I have my one true love who has been by my side for over two decades now. Very few people get to be that lucky, I think. Nor have friends who have now had strong friendships with me for so long now--Mary-Beth and Pauline, who were at the party, met me 46 years ago. 

I have a beautiful Victorian house and a large comic book collection, and art is all around me. 

And I am now at a point where I am secure enough to be able to consider retiring from my day job and exploring the next chapter of my life, so that I can fulfill my goal of being passionate about all I do in my sixties, and fill my life with travel and art.

And finally, I have been fortunate enough to journal all about my life since I was 13 years old. And through the years, I have been able to capture and hone my own unique voice. Every entry I re-read I want to edit, and often do, but at least the words are down, the story told, and the spirit imperfectly captured. 

One of my goals is to put all of my entries online from the past 50 years in the decade ahead, so that those who come before me will truly know who I am and how my life was lived. I have already started working on that, although I will need to figure out at some point, how to transfer all my LJ entries onto that platform. 

You know what? Life is good. Sixty years on, and I still have the soul and the spirit of the bright-eyed kid that would sing random perky songs at a moments notice to total strangers. I am still an optimist and still believe in a better tomorrow. There is something to be said for a life led like that. And I'm here to talk about it.